A Fraud and One Big Bow

This year I felt like a fraud of a girlfriend. Every holiday, every anniversary, every birthday, I knew MONTHS in advance what I was getting Nick. This year, I struggled. It took getting asked a million times what I want for Christmas to realize why.

You see, life really isn’t about those things. It’s not about that new coffee mug or a shiny coffee maker, those things do matter and won’t matter in a year. It’s about being complete, whole, and happy. Christmas isn’t about things, it’s about being together and celebrating something so very precious that happened years and years ago. Its about spending time with family decorating the tree and crying over ornaments that your mom had been collecting for you since 1986. Its about having Dad's quiche on Christmas morning and everyone crawling out of bed slightly hungover from the party the night before. It’s spending time as an entire family, complete, happy, and laughing. It’s filling a plate with chips and mom's spinach artichoke dip a million times over and going to Schreiner's with Oma. It’s mimosa and full glasses of wine. It’s celebrating a new year and fresh starts and giving thanks for the blessings we encountered.

It’s offering a hug, support, advice, a drink, or a smile. When we get to sit around on Christmas morning and sip coffee and smile and watch movies, I admire every year how I'm glad to be home. This is my favorite time of the year for that reason and for that reason alone. I cherish these moments more and more each time I get them and wish that the spirit of Christmas lasts long beyond December 25.


I realized that for Christmas all I wanted was my family, my friends, and my sweet boyfriend Nick to be together and happy. 

When I thought about trying to trick Nick into telling me what he wanted for Christmas, I realized he wasn't lying in saying "I just want you." You see Nick is the smarter one of the two of us. He knows he can get those shinny new things whenever he wants, and that Christmas to him is letting me be happy enjoy the festivities and little moments that Christmas brings. 

So when Nick and I get home to Huntington Beach the day after Christmas, I'm going to put a big ole bow on me and a big ole bow on and tell him how much I love him, how thankful I am for him, and how blessed I am to share these moments together.